Carson Can’t Keep Up with Rodney Dangerfield’s Non-Stop One-Liners (1974)

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Rodney Dangerfield delivered so many jokes that night, Carson had to break for commercials. Originally aired September 2, 1974 on the Tonight Show.

02:01 “When I was a kid, my old man didn't help me either. I asked my old man if I can go ice skating on the lake, he told me to wait 'till it gets warmer.”
07:27 “My wife's a cold person. Her side of the waterbed is frozen.”
09:07 “Doctors say when a man makes love to a woman, he burns up energy, he loses 150 calories. I made love to a girl once and lost even more. I lost 150 calories, my watch and my wallet.”



Download — Carson Can’t Keep Up with Rodney Dangerfield’s Non-Stop One-Liners (1974)

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💬 Comments on the video
Author

The most amazing thing thing about this man is that he almost never repeats the same joke twice

Author — Robert Poole

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Imagine Jimmy Fallon being the host here. He would ruin all of this.

Author — MCT

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Oh my wife! I always knew she cheated. I got in a cab, I asked the driver where I could find some action, he took me to MY house!

Author — Mitchell Bellardini

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RIP Rodney and Carson. We need you both more than ever today.

Author — david urbach

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Fav Rodney joke, "My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met each other."

Author — Robert New

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“Yesterday was a beauty. I put on my shirt and a button fell off... I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off... I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.”

Author — Richard Bain

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Actually, the title states "Carson can't keep but in REALITY, Carson was the best "set-up" man or straight man for any comedian. Ask Don Rickles on interviews after Johnny had passed. Ask most any comedian of that era if Johnny set up the table, and let the artistry of the guest flow. Johnny was setting up Rodney. Both knew their roles, and I liked both of them very much, but believe me on this: Johnny was two steps ahead of most everyone in the entertainment business. He could be funny, or he could be the straight man. That's the sign of a great entertainer.

Author — BigBingFan

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Jimmy Fallon would be doing his annoying laugh the whole time.

Author — stevensasy12345

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"I do have good-looking kids. Thank God my wife cheats on me."

Author — Giorgio Palmas

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1974 *can't tell boys from girls*, this was 45 years ago....wow

Author — Alex Cintas

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The guy was nearly 50 when he finally made it. Never lose hope. You never know where life will bring you.

Author — frank234561

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Carson is fighting back his laughter so he doesn’t interrupt Dangerfield... that’s class.

Author — magoonart

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Why did he even sit down? The stand up routine never stopped lol.

Author — bones22j

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45 years ago and his jokes are still funny.

Author — David K

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"What a son I've got. I told him about the birds and the bees and then he told me about the butcher and my wife." Rodney Dangerfield

Author — Lil' Wayne's guitar teacher

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Imagine saying that first joke in 2019 "I'm not his father I'm his mother"

Author — Vasilis Condoulis

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"Rodney, you're going in for heart surgery, when will you be out"

"If things go well, I'll be out in two weeks, if not I'll be out in 15 min"

(his last one liner)

Author — Joseph Olson

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My Favorite:
"My kids come running into the kitchen screaming 'Mommy Mommy! The house is on fire!'.... My wife says 'Quiet, youll wake your father.."

Author — James Conkey

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The thing about Rodney was that he was always "in character." He rarely ever actually talked about himself in a real way.

Author — Banished From The Dwarf Planet

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"I told my psychiatrist I had suicidal tendencies, he said from now on you have to pay in advance" Boom, pow, zing. Dangerfield lit it up.

Author — James Miller